BQ of the Day~05/01/2013

I lost my dad at the age of ten...I am the first and only girl in a family of 4...my mum refused to remarry working very hard to care and cater for my siblings and I...I finished my secondary school with very high grades and had no problems with getting admission into a university, thanks to mum for her financial support...I was also very lucky to have my childhood friend admitted into the same university...in my second semester, I made more friends even against the advise of my best friend...a decision which will later take away the most precious part of me...I got close to my new friends and so far away from my old friend to the point I got disflowered out of pressure from them by a guy I don't even love...my best friend really warned me but I didn't listen...she said I don't have to be pressured to do it but I listened to her with the deaf side of my ear and now I am finding it nest to impossible to forgive myself...the most painful thing is my mum believes so much in me that when she ask me, I have to continuously lie to her...my conscience is killing me...BREAKING QUESTIONS OF THE DAY...What should I do...will she ever forgive me when I am finding it extremely difficult to forgive myself???